Of Summer and Piano

I have found the urge to post again from a lengthy absence (16 days). The last entry was on me panicking away about my grades (which turned out okay). Mind you that I did get a B in psychology, and I’m not really all jumping with joy about it. However I must admit that it is better than a C, and I am a-okay in the end. I guess I am just an overly anxious and worried person. But yes, I am still here and living, and I should not be panicking as much next time if I am in the same situation.

Lately, I’ve been picking up piano again. After a year and a half of absence, I must say my fingers and body aren’t as key-friendly as I used to be. However, after about a week, I’m beginning to feel the music, and dare I say – sway again. I’ve been trying to self-learn Fantasie-Impromptu by Chopin. I never really got a chance to play it when I had lessons, and I quit before my teacher gave me the piece to learn. Thus here I am, half way through learning the piece in a span of a little more than half a month. I don’t know if thats good or bad actually, but I’m learning at my own pace…

Summer School

I am a little stressed out about the psychology class I’m taking right now at HCC (Houston Community College). I’ve been doing fine so far in both my classes (I’m also taking macro economics) – until I forgot to take a test last weekend. I am now majorly stressed because my final is tomorrow and 1) I haven’t studied 2) I just checked my grade, and I am not only missing a grade for that test, but apparently another one as well 3) which leads me to calculate my grade and apparently I have a C in that class right now. This is majorly stressing me out. This is suppose to be super easy since it’s summer and from a community college. I don’t know what to do…

Even though the grade is showing up as just a credit on my GPA since USC doesn’t take summer school as grades, I am still majorly disappointed and frustrated for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’m worried that I will fail out of my pharmacy program. Or maybe it’s just my standards being blown. I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I have a C right now. At a summer school. I don’t know how to deal with this.

I am majorly stressing out. Really really badly. I really want to learn to let go about my grades. Even though they matter a lot, it’s not the end of the world. I want to tell myself that, but it’s not working. Why is it not working? Why can’t I just not care? This is making me have stress and anxiety related issues. Oh my God, I need psychiatric help.

Seriously this is stressing me out. This is going to be my first C. I am going to fail out of my program and college. I can’t do anything with my biochem degree if I don’t go into the med field. This is really not good. Majorly stressed.

I can’t stop thinking about it. Fuckkkkkkkkkkk. My heart rate is not slowing down. I don’t know what to do.

Drugs

Officially, 20-21 days from now I will be taking the PTCE (pharmacy technician certification exam). I started reading the book like 2 days ago, and I’m skipping the stoichiometry section right now to go on to the actual drug names part. Oh em gee. I don’t think I can do it. So many weird names that all sound the same…here are some lovely examples:

Fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafen)
Fluvoxemine (Luvox)
Paraxetine HCL (Paxil)
Paraxetine Mesylate (Asimia)
Sertaline HCL (Zoloft)

As you can all tell, I am on the anti-depressant drugs. Every time I’m reading, the zoloft commercial with the lil bubble thing hopping around always plays in my head. Anyways, this is just like 1/100 of all the names I need to know. Not only that but I also need to know their side-effects, functions, color, etc. Craptastic. I need to start cracking. I have less than 20 days. Shyt.

LAWL! I love the zoloft bubble. HAHA.

Anyways…on to another crappy news, I cut my hair this weekend. It’s fobtastic. The haircut dude made my hair really thin and choppy, so now I have one of those Chinese/Taiwanese fob style going on. Great. I am just glad that I will have more hair before I go back to USC.

pauL::

Are you an Avatard?

Last night was the finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender, one of the best american cartoon I have ever seen in my life. If you haven’t seen it, you are seriously missing out on something too awesome to put in words.

I came home last night at midnight from a hang out with my friends. The first thing I did was to go to avatarchapters.org. Sadly, the site was, as predicted, overloaded by avatards like myself, thus it was down and not working. I panicked for a split second, but I quickly opened up youtube and veoh simulteneously. Alas, veoh was retarded as always, and youtube was just filled with fake episode videos (damn those uploaders). I was about to cry when I remember the power of all-mighty google. I typed in Avatar and BAM! Up came the finale…on youtube (it was coded in A:TLA…i guess to not have it taken down by youtube’s copyright policy). For the next two hours I was glued to the computer screen, enjoying the awesomeness of Aang, Sokka, Suki, Toph, Zuko, Katara, and everyone else who had made me crave this show since senior year.

After watching the finale, I was happy and sad. It was a good ending, as predictable as it was (Aang saves the world). I thought it was well executed in my opinion. It made me happy that everything concluded as it should have. However, after 3 books (seasons) and two years journey with this show, I was saddened that it had to end. Until I heard that there will be a sequel (fall 2009) and even a spin off (2010) that will be produced. And of course, the live-action movie that is planned for this show (even though I am kinda doubting it will be any good).

I am excited though. I am excited to see where Zuko’s mommie might be, since it was really left out in the open during the last part of the finale. I am also excited to see more bending from the characters, and how they will develope in character.

However, I’m not excited about Katara and Aang. He is frickin’ 12. He hasn’t even hit puberty yet!. Seriously. They kiss too much on the show. Bleh.

Gag.

Anyways…

Lo and Behold!

Get ready for an uber long ass first entry. Yes, I can tell that you’re excited. I shall entice you with a picture to sum up what you will be reading:

Let’s begin.

I must say, this summer has been both ultra unproductive and ultra productive at the same time. It’s almost like an EKG of a really fit person. I have long periods of doing nothing that consists of me sitting on my tushie, going on youtube, making random comments on people’s facebook walls, playing games (monster den ftw), and maybe cracking open my econ/psych books to finish my online quizzes for summer school. Of course I pee, poop, and eat too, but that’s besides the point.

And then there are those random spikes of excitment when I’m just busy doing things – which really just includes me painting the different rooms in the house. Story time! Let’s flash back two summers ago when I decided to paint my room, all thanks to the boredom of pre-senior year. Oh and I must give credit to my friend Laura for inspiring me since that time. I rechanneled (yes, I AM using a Freudian term) the negative energy into something positive and uplifting. As you can tell from my picture spammage below that it is in this lovely adobe brown, or, to be more precise, ‘Knobby Wool’ as the paint can sells it. First time painting, not too bad eh? So I took this newly aquried hobby one step further and decided, that winter, to venture into my bathroom. I wish I took befores and afters, but you can just use your imagination while describe it for you. It used to be this pleasant yellow wallpaper with seashells all over it, kinda mid 80s looking bathroom. But BAM! I painted it red (pictures below). Yes, its quite bold I think, but I like it a lot – kinda gives the bathroom a classy kinda feel to it.

bedroom in ‘Knobby Wool’

bathroom in ‘Fire Hydrant Red’

Well, nothing really happend the next summer, pre-USC summer…or my winter. I guess I got lazy haha or wasn’t inspired enough. But this summer, all the inspiration just came crashing to me. Here’s where the story actually starts kiddies. This summer, on the productive days, I painted my study, my kitchen, and now finally, the living room and game room. It’s an inspiration overload because now I don’t feel like painting anything for a while. But it was truly good while it lasted – even with its up and downs.

While my room’s and the bathroom’s colors were right on for me, both the study and the kitchen did not win my heart over after I finish painting it. The study, as you can/will see, is in a shade of green that I origainlly didn’t plan on doing. I wanted a gentlemen’s room like the ones where you see heavy leather chairs and cigars, a grandfather’s room kind of thing, so I actaully wanted it in dark green. But my mom decided to chime in and tell me how she hates dark colors, so being the indecisive person that I am, I compromised and chose a medium green, or ‘Basil green’. After painting it, I thought it looked way too green, and it was awful under artificial lights. However, once I put all the furnitures back in, it turned out quite alright. Not bad, not bad.

Study in ‘Basil’